Tuesday, November 2, 2010

History, continued

Before I delve into the past, here's a reminder about my ongoing contest. My blog needs a name! Click HERE for more details. Just a couple weeks left to have your say!

I mentioned, at the end of my last post, how writing saved my life. At the risk of sounding dramatic, this is too true. Things at home hit their lowest point while I was in high school. I was the kid who thought all the other kids my age who worried about regular things--dates, prom, grades--were stupid and trivial because I was fighting for my life every day.

I tried to escape. Truly. All I wanted was $100 from the social security check that came in my name to my mother so I could give it to my friend's mom for rent. Without that, though, I was stuck.

And I didn't get it.

At my lowest point, I wrote a suicide note. I still have it. (Note**Some authors are crazy and keep EVERYTHING) But, because I had spent a solid year sharing everything I wrote with my friends, when my friend walked into the room I handed her my note. I didn't even mean to. It was automatic. And we talked. And cried. And I lived another day.

And another. And another. A few months later I admitted I could not fix me without help, and we sought outside counseling. With therapy, and medication, I was able to live a much more normal life.

Until...well, we'll talk about that next week.

2 comments:

Renae W. Mackley said...

So glad you're with us, Cheri, and now you have a novel coming out--words to share that will never die. Your life has touched others forever. Have you ever thought of writing a memoir of your HS days to benefit others? Or would you rather forget the whole thing. Best wishes.

Cheri Chesley said...

I don't think it does any good to forget, though I can certainly let go the pain and hurt, etc and move forward. But what happened helped shape me into who I am. Though I prefer to put pieces of those experiences in my novels rather than write them based on my memories. One, the other people involved don't remember things the same way I do, and two--it will (hopefully) reach more people in a fictionalized setting.

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