Thursday, April 26, 2012

Don't Read This Post

I've been listening to that negative, inner voice again. You know the one. It says things like:

You can't do this.
You're no good.
Why are you writing? There are so many better writers than you. You can't possibly compete.
Nobody likes you.

Consequently, I've written all of a paragraph this week. Let's not talk about the last three weeks.

Why do I listen to the voice? Somewhere inside me I KNOW it's wrong.  But, even so, the doubts and fears have taken root and now I have to go through the process of shaking them. Again.

Because I won't give up. Even when I sometimes want to. All the voice does is slow me down, which aggravates me. It's lure is so strong sometimes, or maybe I'm just weak. Constant rejection doesn't help. Rejection from publishers. Rejection from bookstores. Part of me wonders why I bother. Would anyone notice if I never published another book?

I would. Writing is a part of who I am, and no, I'm not in it for the money. The problem is that if I go a couple of weeks without writing I feel it. And I start to doubt. And it leaves me open to the voice. Which lengthens my writing hiatus. Which makes me feel worse. Which just prolongs the vicious cycle.

I have support. And I'm grateful for them. But sometimes it's not enough to keep me going. Nobody can fix what's broken inside you but you and God. I know He's on my side. So I guess it's just me that's not.

So how do I fix that?

2 comments:

Shiraz Akhtar said...

Well, despite the warning I read it. Sorry about that :)
The real question to ask here is how do you feel after a productive day of writing. If it makes you happy, then the answer, undeniably, is yes you are born to write. That's what I do these days. I remember how wonderful it feels after having captured something satisfying on the page. Hope that helps. And good luck!

Writer Pat Newcombe said...

You have to get a positive buzz about writing and that ony comes when you have something down on paper ( or PC). it's the feeling of being satisfied - even if what you wrote will need to be rewritten or whatever... Just keep doing it - as long as it makes you happy. If not then move on to something else... If it helps, I think we all have moments of feeling down and dejected but you have to try and look at the positives of why you want to do it. Good luck and I do so hope you continue...

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