I've been listening to that negative, inner voice again. You know the one. It says things like:
You can't do this.
You're no good.
Why are you writing? There are so many better writers than you. You can't possibly compete.
Nobody likes you.
Consequently, I've written all of a paragraph this week. Let's not talk about the last three weeks.
Why do I listen to the voice? Somewhere inside me I KNOW it's wrong. But, even so, the doubts and fears have taken root and now I have to go through the process of shaking them. Again.
Because I won't give up. Even when I sometimes want to. All the voice does is slow me down, which aggravates me. It's lure is so strong sometimes, or maybe I'm just weak. Constant rejection doesn't help. Rejection from publishers. Rejection from bookstores. Part of me wonders why I bother. Would anyone notice if I never published another book?
I would. Writing is a part of who I am, and no, I'm not in it for the money. The problem is that if I go a couple of weeks without writing I feel it. And I start to doubt. And it leaves me open to the voice. Which lengthens my writing hiatus. Which makes me feel worse. Which just prolongs the vicious cycle.
I have support. And I'm grateful for them. But sometimes it's not enough to keep me going. Nobody can fix what's broken inside you but you and God. I know He's on my side. So I guess it's just me that's not.
So how do I fix that?