Sometimes I just don't know what to make of myself. Seriously. I have conversations in my head, play out what the characters would say to one another in any given scene, run the plot down over and over to come up with the right pacing and everything.
Then I sit at my computer. And. Do. Nothing.
I open my documents and set myself up to write. I scroll to where I stopped last time and click the cursor into position.
But I don't write.
The act of putting these thoughts on screen (paper) freezes me.
I've published 3 books. It's not like I can't come up with the words. I'm not stuck in an endless cycle of writer's block or anything. So why can't I just write. the. words?
It's driving me absolutely crazy. I'm too embarrassed to admit the days I have wasted while the kids have been at school, not counting the days one or more has been home sick or the days I've had the truck in the shop. I mean perfect writing days where I have nothing else to do but spend hours in front of my computer.
Right now I'm looking at the clock at the bottom of my screen and the kids will be home in about an hour. After that I'm on the go until they snuggle into bed around 9. By then I'm so wiped I'm good for about 30 min and I slip into bed myself. With the goal and the desire to get up and write in the morning.
But I won't. Because all this time has passed and I haven't.
Is it self doubt? Am I frozen by the idea of trying to top my previous works? I don't think so. It doesn't enter into conscious thought, at least.
Mel, I may need a boot to the head. :/