Tuesday, July 22, 2014

2015

You know how some numbers just appeal to you? Like, you may not realize it but you have a favorite number. I like 5. I like 15.

2015 has a good ring to it.

Because we're already more than halfway done with 2014 and summer is never a good time for my creative work I'm choosing to be kind to myself. And to my family, because they are most important.

"You are a mother, first and foremost. Second comes your writing."

Truth.

So while I am working on stories off and on I'm not killing myself to meet an arbitrary deadline. When the kids come up with an activity or something they want to do/watch/say I'm not getting all bent out of shape about what I'm not doing with my stories.

Like I said, I'm being kind to myself.

Of course once school starts again and I have hours to myself every day that's going to change. It will be like going back to work. I'm going to focus on finishing the edits and formatting of my Christmas story for this year. And then on releasing a book in January. 2015. Then my sweet romance short story in Feb for Valentines, like I've been trying to do for going on 3 years now.

And then, who knows? Maybe I'll be ready to release another book in March or April. So, yes, I'm going to be intensely busy this fall and winter. And I accept that.

An author I greatly admire has said recently, while dealing with her own setbacks, trials, and frustrations, that what she's good at and has always been good at is working hard. I'm not that good at working hard. I can do okay in spurts but invariably my crushing sense of "I'm not good enough" always returns to slow and often halt my progress. And while I haven't released a book in 2 years now I have been trying, working, at improving my SELF so that I can be the hard worker I long to be.

Everyone has their trials and difficulties. For some it's mostly an internal struggle. For others, they've beaten the internal struggle and then may develop physical limitations. I'm no exception. But I haven't given up.

And I'm not going to give up. My progress may be slow, it may even appear nonexistent at times, but I am working toward my goals.

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