Sunday, May 30, 2010

At least this isn't you.

McKenzy didn't look up from her iPod as the car drove past. She glanced up at the time display before tapping the screen with her finger. Stupid card game had her completely hooked. She slid the card across the screen to make another match before glancing in her rear view mirror.

The couple in the car had started arguing. She could hear them from her position under the blossoming peach trees. McKenzy reclined the driver's seat a little farther, so they wouldn't think she was listening. Who pulls into a church parking lot to have a fight?

Without warning, two sharp, snapping sounds sliced the air. Fireworks? Did the car backfire? McKenzy raised her head and twisted a little to see behind her van. She watched, horrified, as the passenger door opened and someone fell out. They didn't move.

The door slammed shut and the car rocked into motion. It made a wide circle and came up along side McKenzy's minivan. She caught a glimpse of the driver before the gun in his hand registered in her mind. Instinctively, she ducked. Bullets striking metal, a sound she'd never heard before but would never forget, pierced the air. McKenzy flinched each time.

The engine roared to life and she heard the car speed away. Still, she hesitated before lifting her head to look around. Then she fumbled for her cell phone and flipped it open to dial 9-1-1.

"What is your emergency?" the voice on the phone intoned.

"Help, please," McKenzy said. "Someone's been shot." She glanced back at the body. "I think she's dead."

"What is your location?"

McKenzy started to shake as she rattled off the cross streets. She glanced down at the school a half mile down the road. Now she really was going to be late picking up her kids.


Chef Lee said...

Nice writing. One typo I noticed - The engine roared to LIFE (not live), about 4-5 paragraphs from the end. Other sounds like a good start to a murder mystery. Keep it up.

Creepy Query Girl said...

great excerpt! I enjoyed it.

Cheri Chesley said...

Ha! Thank you! I've missed that typo twice :)

Kelly said...

Wow, that's a great story! I love the sarcasm at the end about being late to pick the kids up.

Mel Chesley said...

Are you sitting in parking lots and seeing cars pull in again? Hehe! I liked this, this was really good!